He ain't heavy...

He's my brother.

Sorry. I had to. I don't even really like that song. I liked it even less when American Idol did a version of it a few years back. But, the title is just too appropriate for my story. Here we go...

Target loves me. I feel like I help keep them in business. Facebook has a group titled, "I went into Target to buy toothpaste and I spent 100 dollars." I should join that group. Now add in that our Target has a Starbucks and a Pizza hut and you have perfect family harmony. I have been known to bribe my children with popcorn and slushies so that they will be peaceful during my shopping. Don't judge me.

I had to run to Target last Saturday night to pick up a birthday gift. The boys and I were strolling through the dollar section to see if we could find any little goodies to throw into the package when the boys spotted some foam swords. They were well into the Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker fight when another little boy walked up to join in on the action. I was half watching when I saw something that brought out the very fire in my heart. The little boy hit Hunter in the face so hard I could hear it from across the aisle. I was horrified.

Now, I know kids will be kids. And maybe my son was asking for it by playing along in the first place. But, I was seriously about to go off on this child. He was much older than Hunter and he took the game too far. I was well on my way to a total freak out when I realized that someone else was doing it for me.

Jackson. He proceeded to lay this child out. He told him that no one hits his brother and that he should know better. He said that Hunter is just a baby and that was totally wrong. He then threw their swords down and (in total Jill fashion I might add) spun on his heels and said, "Come on Hunter, let's get you out of here."

Maybe I should have stepped in, but I didn't. I had seen it. All of the lessons about protecting our family. The times I have explained that Hunter and Jackson should always have each other's back, they were all right there in the middle of Target alive and well. Jackson gets it. Praise God!

I am so glad that I have two boys. I am so glad that they have each other. That's right, Jackson. He ain't heavy, he's your brother.

And in this corner....

Weighing in at 33 pounds we have, Hunter...the roughest, toughest toddler in the east.

Well maybe, lol.

I had dinner with a friend on Monday night and when I came home I saw that Jackson was missing another tooth. I was surprised because it hadn't really been all that loose. When I asked him about it, he told me that Hunter had punched it out.

WHAT?????

I questioned Matt about it and he confirmed that Yep, Hunter had been the culprit.

Apparently the were playing Pirates of the Caribbean (because whose children don't frequently re-enact popular fight scenes from borderline appropriate Disney movies.) Jackson was cast as the part of Elizabeth Swann (again, probably better not to ask) and Hunter said,

"Take that, Elizabeth Swann" and rared back and let him have it.

That was the end of Jackson's tooth. I know there is a lot I could be grateful for..it was a baby tooth, it was already loose, and most of all Jackson was not upset. I know this because when I asked him if Hunter told him he was sorry, he responded...

"No, Mom. I told Hunter thank you! This was the greatest night ever."

Sigh. And I wonder why my hair is turning gray.

Life as we know it...

Someone asked me the other day, "What do you do for a living?"

I quickly responded, "I'm a stay at home Mom."

They kind of laughed and said, "Do you do it because you like it, or because you feel obligated?"

That question got me to thinking. Why do I choose to stay at home? Certainly our budget could be improved if I went back to work full time. And yet, year after year I make the same choice. I officially joined the ranks of SAHM Moms when Jackson was born almost eight years ago. For me, it was never a question. I always knew that was where I wanted to be...I'm so blessed that I married a man who supports me in my quest to be at home with the boys. That is where he and I both feel our family is best served.

But, back to the question. Do I like it, or do I feel a sense of obligation?

Well, let me put it this way.

Everyday, I wake up to a house full of my co-workers and they race to be the first to give me a hug. They fight over who loves me the most. I am surrounded by company opportunities, never mind if some of them are potty training, ABC's and the Golden Rule. Maybe I don't get any sick days, but my co-workers are very generous with their love and sympathy. Instead of collecting a pay check twice a month, I am rewarded daily with hugs and kisses. And in the moments that I am able to witness the bond that Hunter and Jackson share, another deposit is made into my heart. And at the end of the day, my business partner comes home to find a healthy, happy (although sometimes screaming) family.

So, yes. I like what I do. Honestly, it's more than that. I love it. This is my calling.

I have to go, though. We have an important business meeting to discuss the effects of Crayola on slipcovers. Let's hope we experience a breakthrough.

Lucky in love

Matt and I were playing a game together a few days ago.

Let's suffice it to say, he mopped the floor with me.

I jokingly told him, "You just got lucky"

He replied, "Well that would be the first time."

I batted my eyes at him with my best Scarlett O'hara charm and said, "Excuse me? What about me?"

Matt said, "Honey, I love you. But, getting you to marry me was not luck. That was a lot of hard work."

HA! Love it!

Oh Jackson, you crack me up...

I am tired. The kind of tired where your whole body aches and your emotions are too close to the surface. We are finalizing the move. We're so close. And yet there are moments when it feels like we've been moving for-ever. Here is a breakdown of our timeline.

March: Begin House hunting
Find the house of our dreams
Put an offer in
After some wheeling and dealing, we were under contract!
Give notice to our Apt. complex, Peace out :)

April 16th: Close on the house

April 23rd: Begin painting

Late April/Early May: Begin the moving process

May 15th: The big MOVE!

Since then we have been enjoying life in the new house and slowly getting the apartment ready to turn in the keys by May 31st.

Needless to say things like blogging and everyday life have taken a backseat to the move. For example My Dad gave me a lovely arrangement of flowers for Mother's Day. Anyone who knows me understands what a risk this is...The only things I have successfully kept alive are Jackson and Hunter, lol.

So, as we were sitting down to dinner one night Jackson looked at my sad (and dead) Mother's Day bouquet and said,

"Poor little flower. You never even had a chance."

So true.

He also told me this story,

"Mommy, yesterday when we were playing outside I saw a dead baby bunny. Poor little guy. It looked like he had been in a car accident."

I told him, "Perhaps he should have been wearing his seat belt"

Yep, that kid cracks me up.

Will they ever know?

Guilt is just a part of Motherhood. I understand that more everyday. And trust me, nobody does guilt like I do. My heart holds onto guilt like it's the missing link in my DNA. And therefore I was made to be a Mother. I worry about these boys every day.

Are they getting enough to eat?
Will they grow up to be kind and respectful?
Will they fall in with the right crowd?
Should I really let them eat that cookie?

It runs the gamut. From the silly to the intense. Take today for example. I had my bi-monthly Mother Of Preschoolers (MOPS) meeting. Hunter goes into a nursery school type of class. He does not enjoy this time apart. He cries from the instant we turn into the parking lot until the moment the teacher pries him out of my arms. For awhile, things had gotten better. Our goodbye scene was a little less dramatic. But today, Hunter decided to pull out all the stops.

He sobbed. He clung to me as if his life depended on my presence. He screamed after me as I walked away. The wonderful teachers even called me ten minutes later to tell me that he had finally stopped crying, but was now sitting at the table with his head in his hands softly crying for "Mommy."

Will he ever know? Will he know that I went straight upstairs to the bathroom and had my own version of a meltdown. I sat in the bathroom and cried. I cried for my baby and the way that he was hurting. I cried because no matter how hard I try, I can not protect him or his brother from the many hurts in life. Even if they are as simple as being separated for two hours.

I am not sure if Hunter or Jackson will ever really know how often I have lay awake at night feeling guilty for my actions and words that day. Or how often I have lifted them up in prayer. Maybe someday when they have babies of their own they will know. But, I'm not sure even then...Because like I said, nobody does guilt like I do.

Motherhood...It's not for sissies.

By the way, our story has a happy ending. I got the best hug ever when I picked Hunter up. I'm not even sure Bon Jovi ever received such a welcome. And in that moment, I know that those are the blessings that make all the worry worthwhile.

The day that wouldn't end...

I have had a crazy couple of days...I'm sure some of you have noticed that I failed miserably at my attempt to blog daily for two weeks. Perhaps I should have picked a better time in our lives. But, really? When will be a better time when you are raising two wild childs (I mean loving little boys)?

Today started out crazy. I should know when that happens that I should just stay in bed. Nana called to tell me that she had spent the night throwing up. Thankfully, her retirement community was able to step in and give her a shot for the nausea. That saved me from having to bring Hunter into the mix. As I write, she is feeling some better. I'm so hopeful that it was just a bug and that the worst is behind her.

Of course, our phone call set us back in our morning routine. We were running late leaving for school. Jackson does not like to be late. Jackson blames me when we are late. Because, in case you missed the memo I am his mother and everything bad that happens to him is my fault. I wish I was kidding. God bless Jackson and his dramatics. They may be the end of me.

After I dropped Jackson off (NOT late, thankyouverymuch) I decided that Hunter and I needed a break. So, I took my ball of blond fluff to a Tropical Smoothie date. I love smoothies because they trick Hunter into drinking things he would normally turn his nose up at...Today, I got pomegranate, strawberries, and cranberries in him! Love it! It was a nice time and by far the most relaxing part of our day.

Our school system allows the kids to get out early on Wednesdays to allow teachers an afternoon planning period. I love this for the sake of the teachers. And I love having an afternoon to spend with Jackson, but I have to be honest, it throws a real kink in our schedule. Hello, nap time?

Then Jackson had swim lessons (He is coming along so well! I watched with glee as he dove under the water just like a fish! Something he would have never dared to attempt even a week ago) I am so proud of him and he is proud of himself...That matters so much to me! I want him to have pride in himself..it will keep him outta trouble, lol!

After swim lessons we were onto haircuts for the boys. Then home for homework and off to soccer practice. By the time we drove the 20 minutes to the field (long enough for Hunter to fall asleep in the car, refer to the no nap Wednesday) a storm had blown in. Practice had to be called on account of lightening.

So, all that for nothing. A sleeping baby a grumpy seven year old, and a husband that worked a 13 hour day.

Did I mention we're moving this week? Yep, good times.