Aaaah, life. I’ve
never seen anything more capable of throwing a more perfect curve ball. And somehow, it always feels like I’m the
batter that’s up next with the bases loaded.
No pressure. (Except lots of
pressure. Game winning pressure). And lately I feel like I’ve been striking out
pretty consistently and letting my team down.
I haven’t liked my attitude and I haven’t been terribly proud of my
performance in the face of adversity.
I’ve been discouraged and I’ve been down. I’ve been remembering that old saying about
being at the end of your rope and using it to make a noose, haha. Not really, obviously, but when it seems like
everything you touch turns to Fool’s Gold, you tend to grow a bit weary.
I was sitting in Church on Sunday and from the time the
lights went down and the worship came on, I cried. My heart was so worn out and Church has
always been the place that I come to in order to recharge. I think there is something very beautiful about
laying yourself and your burdens at the throne of the one who already
knows. I’m lucky that I have a place to
feed my soul and find a moment of rest.
Everyone deserves that.
As I sat in the silence and the stillness, a thought washed
over me. It was almost as though a voice
whispered into my subconscious. It said,
this is all so temporary. Why are you
worried?
I left Church that day (after crying an embarrassing number
of tears throughout the rest of the service, prompting my nervous 8 year old to
inquire about my mental stability) and that has remained on my mind all
week. This is all so temporary. Friends, in the grand scheme of things, our
troubles here on Earth are just a blip on the screen of time. It’s so easy to get caught up in the moment,
caught up in the day, but trust in Him.
Trust that His plan is better and He can see the whole picture. When you’re having the kind of day, the kind
of game, if you will, where all you can see is curve balls, trust that the
pitcher knows best.
